Playing the victim has been a recurring theme lately, not just with myself working with my healer but also with others in their sessions with me. It is clear that the Universe is trying to send us a message! Step out of the role as Victim! It is time to get serious and look deeper into what is holding us back from manifesting our highest truest self which is joy and love. If you are still blaming others for your setbacks even though you have made strides in your own healing than the work is not quite done yet. Hold on, this might get ugly.
First, there is beauty and transformation in suffering. Not all is as it seems. I was watching Rescue 911 this evening and came upon a story where a woman's foot wound was covered in maggots. While it seemed horrifying that someone would let a wound infection get to the point where maggots formed what I learned was that these creatures were actually stopping the infection from spreading and becoming deadly by eating away the dead tissue. Later this evening I went to do my meditation and pulled the Vulture card from Colette Baron-Reid's "Spirit Animal Oracle" card deck. The vulture feeds off the dead and essentially "cleans" nature. Maggots and vultures are seen as ugly animals however they clearly perform a very important function in nature. Nothing is wasted. Everything has purpose, yes, even our suffering.
Second, when something reappears in your life even when you've spent years doing the cognitive work to heal it does not necessarily mean that your work has been in vain. Just like muscle memory, there is energetic memory too. When we have spent nearly all our lives reacting a certain way to our experiences outside influences such as societal, familial upbringing or religious programming may still be at play. Those programmed reactions are habits. The solution then becomes "change the habit".
If you haven't been doing the work, if you have been avoiding the deep issues by blaming others and/or looking for the next quick fix than I encourage you stop and look deep within yourself. It may be difficult to do that. No one wants to look at their shit. Everything that comes to us is a lesson. The man who works on me on a weekly basis said to me "You are in denial. You asked for this!" which I will admit really pissed me off. Great! Now we're getting somewhere. My anger was my reaction to knowing deeply that he was right. Stop being in denial. Take responsibility for your own power and life. It takes incredible courage but you can do it! You are a warrior. If I can do it anyone can.
If you have been doing the work than first congratulate yourself for the progress you have made thus far! You are healing on a deep level. It is time to heal the habits of your negative thoughts. Remind yourself, I am healed. This is no longer truly an issue for me. Re-train your thoughts by focusing on gratitude. Give thanks to yourself for your hard work and to source for all blessings and your habits of negative thinking will change. With joy in your heart remind yourself that these repeating negative thought patterns are no longer you, they are simply habit at this stage.
You are no longer a victim so stop acting like one. Only then will true transformation occur.
Psychology Today defines self sabotage as "any action that gets in the way of your best laid out plans or intent." These actions include negative self talk, procrastination, self medicating (substances, food, behaviors that are habitual, etc).
There are many reasons why we resort to self sabotage despite our best intentions and it is important to look at them as we begin a new year and new decade.
1. Lack of self worth: This is a big one! Oftentimes we may think we deserve the best in life but deep down we believe we don't. We work hard to make our dreams come true but once they start to manifest we pull the plug as our self worth is missing. We say damaging things to ourselves: "I'm not good enough." "I don't have enough training." Imagine if you talked to yourself like we would a child. I can do it! I am amazing! I am love. I am strong. I am worthy. Say it enough and you will start to believe it yourself. Be kind to yourself. Give yourself support and encouragement. Enter into dialogue with your inner self, your soul. If a negative self thought arises, ask "where is this coming from? Why do I believe this to be so?" Be willing to look at yourself and then heal it! That is the true sense of being a warrior.
2. Lack of control. Success in our intentions can seem scary despite how badly we want to have our dreams manifest! We ask ourselves "What would it look like if I had the perfect job?" or "How would my life change if my dream life came true?" Change is scary so we stay in the familiar. Better to fail then to succeed, at least I know what that feels like. It's comfortable. Ask yourself honestly - Is it really?
3. Consistency - humans like to be consistent. Phrases like "I never get what I want." "This always happens to me." are a form of self sabotage. If we believe that we always get passed over for promotion or I'll never have enough then when life happens that way our beliefs are confirmed. See! I told you! Everything stays the same. We are comfortable with the known and uncomfortable with the unknown.
4. Lack of commitment. Healing the self is hard work! It takes commitment and strength to look at ourselves in order to heal that which holds us back. We come up with whole list of excuses. "I don't have the money." "I don't have the time." "This will never work." "This is too hard." "I'm too old, I have done everything this way my whole life." "I don't want to look at that. Let's not go there." "I am sick and/or too tired." I can't tell you how many times I have said those things to myself. I am here to tell you that when you make a commitment to heal yourself the funds, time and energy it takes to make it happen will magically appear. I know from experience. I have a standing commitment to work on myself with two different healers on a weekly basis. I keep these commitments even if it appears that I don't have what I need financially or for whatever reason listed above. It always works out for me. I also have a daily Reiki practice that I always do even if i don't feel like it. Make this the year that you commit to yourself and watch your dreams come true.
Our thoughts are energy manifest in the world around us. Did you know that science has proven that our thoughts are as powerful as gamma rays, the most powerful energy source in the universe?!?! What is true in our minds is true. I am sure you have heard the phrase "And so it is." Every time we self sabotage we tell the Universe "and so it is" and we remain stuck in our suffering. We want to manifest our dreams yet we don't believe for one reason or another.
Note: The picture associated with this post was taken back in November of 2017 when I was in Canada doing my Trauma Release Yoga Training and healing my body. My teacher and I were sitting in the trailer lit only with a small candle and snow falling softly outside. We were discussing what I felt my Reiki & shamanic healing sessions were worth since a few people had requested my services while I was there. I was thinking in my mind $125 and before I could say it she voiced the number $300. I yelled $300 and in my thought I felt that was too much. Right after the thought occurred in my mind the class broke and the flame went out. Our response? Laughter. Turns out she was right. I had a few clients that week and they all thought $300 was more than worth the healing they received. The Universe has a sense of humor! Lessons.
My name is Melissa Ameika and I am a Reiki Master Teacher, Shaman & Metaphysical Counselor living in the desert southwest.